


this never happened.

by n0nbinney



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Inspired by Fanart, Mild Hurt/Comfort, NOT my idea btw, but not in the way u think u dirty bastard, im also sleepy, like LOTS of baggage, revenant is daddy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23625808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n0nbinney/pseuds/n0nbinney
Summary: revenant wouldn't consider himself a caring person. he wasn't in touch with anyone's emotions, nonetheless his own. but when you suddenly become a single father of 11 shrieking, violently emotional shadow creatures, you familiarize yourself with them very quickly.
Comments: 36
Kudos: 97





	1. vulnerability

**Author's Note:**

> so! before we start, this is NOT my original idea. this was inspired by a series of fanart created by the lovely @cultslinker and @acidicguts on instagram! all credit goes to them!! go and give em some love!! this was just my small way of exploring the idea and fleshing it out a bit more. I sincerely hope I did it justice!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> vul·ner·a·bil·i·ty
> 
> noun  
> 1\. the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

You know- Elliott was the type of guy that, well, valued his life a little. Sure it kinda sucked in some ways, but it was _great_ in others, and he’d rather keep it like that for some time. So you might be able to understand why he was a little apprehensive when he was asked to meet the new Apex legend at the training grounds. It was something all of the legends were required to do, one at a time. And Elliott, unfortunately, was the first one on the roster.

He shouldn’t have been so nervous as he headed to the meeting place. I mean, sure, the guy was a scary simulacrum with a fucking demon-ram-face and knife hands and weird shadow-powers, but he wasn’t _actually_ going to hurt him. He couldn’t!

...right?

Besides, Elliott could handle himself if shit hit the fan. He wasn’t that easily intimidated, he knew that much. If he was completely hopeless, he could just ult out of there and haul ass to HR, tell them off for their shitty choice in legends, and the new guy would get replaced in a week. Actually, now that he thought about it, 3 out of 12 legends were probably homicidal, 12 out of 12 could kill him if they wanted to, and 5 out of 12 probably did want to, so…. His complaints probably wouldn’t have done much. Hey- at least the guy could kill him as much as he wanted in the games, yeah?

He swallowed down a lump in his throat as he headed through the big metal doors, and he felt his excitement surge. Okay, call him immature or whatever, but the slide down the huge hill leading to the training dummies was always his favorite. He eagerly went down on his knees, enjoying how the dust barrelled up around him as he made his way to the floor. He wasn’t even worried about Revenant, who was staring at him the entire way down- that was, until he took notice. Embarrassed, he tried to stand up and collect himself, but he was still moving. He ended up face planting into the ground and ended up with a mouthful of dirt. He stood up, trying to brush everything off and spit the dirt out while still maintaining the shards of his dignity that were left.

“Uh- Sorry about that, I- yknow, it’s a long way down, and-” he started to stammer, but judging by the fact Revenant wasn’t showing any type of reaction besides an annoyed glare, the excuses died in his throat. He coughed some dirt out, brushing himself off once more before extending his hand and flashing a debonair smile. “Well, my name’s Elliott- but you might know me as Mirage.” Revenant didn’t take his hand. He sort of faltered, then crammed his hands into his pockets, glancing away to avoid the scrutinizing stare. “And- well, I guess you’d already know me, I’m a pretty pro- per-pur-prom- famous legend.” he looked back at Revenant. Nothing. He kicked himself internally. “So, uh- you’re Revenant..?”

“Who else could I be?” Revenant snarked back, but Elliott had to bite back a sigh of relief. Hey- negative reactions were still reactions. He’d become used to rolling with the punches a long time ago.

“Haha- you’re right, yeah. So!” he clapped his hands together with a grin that was hopefully perceived as excited. “Let’s get down to business, shall we?”

Thankfully, Revenant seemed as eager to get this over with as Elliott did. They sparred, which was admittedly terrifying, but Elliott had all of his appendages intact by the end of it, so he considered it a win. Then, Revenant went through his abilities. The fact that he could climb-for-fucking-ever and crawl like some creepy-ass spider, and his weird shadow-ball thing that cancelled his abilities. It was a pretty impressive skill-set, if Elliott was being honest. And now came the part he thought sounded like the least fun- his ultimate.

The _Death Totem._

I mean- if you name something the Death Totem, it isn’t going to be the most fucking appealing thing in the world. Revenant used an ultimate accelerant while he explained, tapping the screen with his weird, metal fingers.

“You’re going to become invulnerable for a period of time. You’ll be faster and stronger, but easier to kill. When all of your health is depleted, you’ll return to the totem so you can heal up and join the fight again.” he gruffed, and Elliott frowned.

“So… it won’t kill me?”

“If you’re smart about using it, then no, it won’t.” 

Revenant finally seemed to be ready, so he turned and clenched his fist, raising the totem in front of Elliott. And that thing was scary as _fuck_ , so he obviously stepped back a little.

“That’s- um- wow.” he mumbled, swallowing his heart, which had jumped and made itself at home in his throat. “That’s wow.” he said dumbly. “So, uh- how do I-”

“Touch it.” Revenant interrupted him/ordered him, and Elliott really wasn’t a guy to argue with a simulacrum who had knife hands and _definitely_ a want to kill him by now. He reached out with shaky fingers, gently touching the weird shadowy-mist of the totem.

And then he blacked out.

━━━━━━━━

Looking at this man, it was hard to tell how he’d made it so far in a blood sport. He was anxious and jumpy, his cocky facade only doing so much until he made eye contact with Revenant. His slip ups and sudden shouts were amusing, and if Revenant could laugh, he definitely would. It seemed like the only way he could get his kicks nowadays was from the suffering of others, unfortunately- but hey. If he had to live for forever, the least he could do was make other people regret their own lives.

But if he was being honest, Mirage was just doing it for him. All he had to do was stare.

When Elliott touched the totem, Revenant expected the usual. Growly, shrieking shadow beings who would follow orders and nine times out of ten not attack him. He set his hands on his hips, watching the shadow make its way over Elliott’s body, changing him for the worst. 

If he was being completely honest, he himself didn’t necessarily know how the Death Totem worked. During his time with it, however, he was able to figure out a few things. As you touched it, you signed some sort of contract. It took something from you, you took something from it. It took from you your conscience, your insecurities and fears, the thing that was holding you back from acting upon your darkest desires. You took from it the ability to do that. The strength, the speed, the bravery. He watched intently as Elliott’s eyes shone with a bright orange light, and his skin crackled. The Death Totem gained a small floating light- Revenant assumed that was Elliott’s conscience. 

There was a difference between this totem and the one in the games. This one was bigger, and lasted much longer than the 30 seconds he got on the battlefield. Personally he tried to fight for more time, but apparently it was ‘too overpowered’ and he needed to at least ‘give the enemies a fighting chance’. Not everything went your way, hm?

He learned that the hard way.

Almost everything went as expected, but there was one thing that immediately caught Revenant off guard.

Elliott suddenly started to shriek. It wasn’t the typical, demonic screech they let out, it was something closer to a wail. A sob, almost. He stumbled back from the totem, reaching up and gripping at his darkened curls, pulling at them. Revenant immediately felt an overwhelming concern for him, and moved past the totem. He remembered his first time in the totem, and knew it could be quite overwhelming for some. He felt a certain sense of… guilt well up in him. 

Elliott was starting to breathe heavily, his breaths coming as rasps. He kept stumbling backwards, away from Revenant, and Revenant kept heading towards him. Eventually Elliott stumbled backwards over a body shield, falling on his back into the sand. Revenant sighed softly, kneeling down in front of Elliott.

“You’re clumsy. Come here.” he murmured, and Elliott let out a shriek in response. He sat up, wrapping his arms around his legs and burying his head into his knees. 

Revenant didn’t need to be a genius to realize the next sound that bubbled out of him. Elliott began to let out pained yelps and sobs into his knees.

Revenant was unsure how to act in this scenario. Normally, he’d just leave him alone, wait until the totem’s effect wore off and try it again later. But for some reason, there was a nagging feeling in his gut (did he even have a gut?) that he remembered as grief. Guilt. Something sickly, like an itch that you couldn’t ignore, one you just had to scratch. He thought he’d eradicated it long ago when he first started his work as an assassin. I mean- destroying people’s lives was his work, making them feel miserable was what he was supposed to do. Apparently not. He felt responsible for Elliott’s misery, the confusing bundle of emotions he felt that were no doubt scary and overwhelming. He just- he had to do something.

Slowly, steadily, he moved towards Elliott, as if he was approaching a wild animal. Elliott seemed to notice, and he made himself as small as possible against the rock. Revenant inched closer, opening up his arms for Elliott. There was no reaction from the quivering shadow creature. So he pushed a little bit harder for Elliott, and slowly, shakily almost, wrapped his arms around him.

It felt strange, almost, to experience such intimacy at such a strange time. This was supposed to be Elliott harnessing his darkest thoughts, his deepest emotions. He was supposed to be threatening, scary, even. Not this pathetic little ball of feelings. But again, he didn’t necessarily understand the totem’s effects. This was probably something he could learn from, if he wasn’t classifying this as a complete failure. He felt mildly uncomfortable being so close to Elliott. If he had to experience intimacy and comfort with someone, he definitely wouldn’t pick the bumbling, ridiculously cocky, idiotic legend known as Mirage.

But here he was.

Elliott continued to cry, but slowly started to melt into Revenant’s arms. He pressed his face against his shoulder, slowly starting to let go, sobs tumbling out, one after the other. He untensed, resting on his knees, slouched forward. His hands moved from his hair, moving down to his wrists where he started to scratch, scratch, scratch. Revenant noticed, and he shouldn’t have fucking cared. He shouldn’t be doing this regardless! But here he was, and he did care, so he reached out.

“No, no, no.” he said gently, in a tone that he’d never heard from his own mouth before. He moved on quickly, however, taking Elliott’s wrists in his hand. He looked carefully at them, just checking for now. Nothing he could see, but he could tell it was a habit of Elliott’s. He wasn’t sure what to say. “It’s…. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

What the hell was Eliott even crying about in the first place? It wasn’t like he could tell him, all that he could manage were simple words if he would try hard enough, but Revenant doubted that was possible at this point. Could he find out what was wrong? And if he did that, could he help?

He continued to surprise himself with these thoughts. It was a new experience, it was almost embarrassing how shocking _care_ and _tenderness_ were to him. Was he just that out of tune? Was he just that numb? Did the Syndicate really change him that much, make him so much of a monster that he forgot what it was like to be kind?

He shook those thoughts out of his head when he saw Elliott’s form shudder and shake. He was all of a sudden back at the totem, sitting on the ground, his face still wet with tears. He sniffed, looking back at Revenant as he got up and walked over. He reached out a hand, and Elliott looked at it confusedly.

“What…” he scrubbed at his face, sniffling and blinking away the tears in his eyes. “I-I’m-” he reached out, taking his hand and using it to pull himself up. 

If he was being honest, a wave of relief washed over Revenant when he realized Elliott didn’t remember what was going on. But with the relief, he also felt a bit of sadness as he realized. Elliott felt this emotion constantly, but never showed it. It was his deepest, darkest emotion in his eyes. Sadness. Vulnerability. 

“Hah- well, uh- that was… um-” Elliott laughed anxiously, running a hand through his hair and clearing his throat. “If I’m gonna be honest, I-I don’t really… know how that wa-”

Revenant would say he wasn’t in control of his actions when he leaned in and hugged Elliott. He felt him flinch in his arms, but he sort of awkwardly hugged back. He gave a small pat to Revenant’s back, and let out a nervous chuckle.

“Hey there, uh… big guy, you…”

“Don’t be ashamed to feel vulnerable.” Revenant interrupted suddenly, feeling an overwhelming urge to say at least something. Hell, he didn’t even know where that came from. 

“Wh...What?” Elliott mumbled, quirking an eyebrow and looking Revenant up and down. He felt a sudden surge of panic. If people knew he was hugging, softening up, giving heartfelt advice, his reputation would be absolutely fucking ruined.

“I said what I said.” he snapped, narrowing his eyes at Elliott. “Don’t tell anyone this happened, or I’ll make sure you regret it.” He threatened. “Get out.” he snapped, and Elliott obviously had at least one brain cell, as he turned tail and headed up the slope towards the doors.

Revenant, left alone with himself, felt a wave of exhaustion passing over him. He was barely in touch with his own, horrific emotions, and he was becoming a glorified therapist for other legends. If things went the same way with all of the others, that is.

He had a long road ahead.


	2. paternity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pa·ter·ni·ty  
> /pəˈternədē/
> 
> noun  
> 1.  
> (especially in legal contexts) the state of being someone's father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i'm not too sure if i like this chapter, and it was one of the ones i was excited for cause yknow, it was playing into the dad revenant card. ;3; 
> 
> i think the next one's gonna be fun to write, though, cause it's an idea that came from myself, a hc that I have (SHOCKING, i can actually have original ideas).
> 
> thank you for your support!!

Octavio was never, ever late.

To anything.

It wasn’t that he made sure to leave on time, he was just fast enough where he could leave at a later time, but still make it early.

But right now, he was late.

He was sprinting through the halls like some type of anime girl late for school. It really wasn’t his fault, just- one of the matches on his game ran over, and he sure as hell couldn’t leave his team hanging when they were  _ so close  _ to a win. That would’ve been criminal, and besides- everyone on his team would probably hate him more than they already probably did. They won, anyway, so did it really matter? No, not in his opinion. Hopefully the new guy didn’t mind that he was late. After all, he looked kind of…. He wasn’t going to say scary, because he  _ also  _ wasn’t afraid of anything, but he was a little bit intimidating to some. The type of guy that maybe Caustic would hang out with and actually have a good time. Which was saying something, because every single time he spoke to him, it seemed like he was 3 seconds away from ripping his heart out of his chest. If he was being honest, this new Revenant guy kinda looked like he was the one that’d eat the heart. Or maybe tear his lungs out, or something. He’d prefer to have a guy like that on his side. 

He’d heard rumors, whispers about what this guy was in some sort of past life. A freaky assassin who killed tons of high profile people- tons of high profile people like him and his family. He didn’t feel in any particular danger, cause if he joined the games just to kill him, that was a dumb move and he probably wasn’t a very good assassin. The contract for the games was like, 10 years. I mean, what assassin killed 1 person and then held a different job for 10 years?

Yeah, he’d be fine.

He took a deep breath, adjusting his goggles on his face so he could itch a scratch. He jumped slightly when he saw the doors open and Elliott walk out, running a hand through his hair. His face was slightly red and blotchy, and he looked like he’d been crying recently. Octavio frowned gently.

“Uh… you good, compadre?” he asked curiously, obviously worried for his friend, and the male flinched, as if he just noticed him standing there.

“Uh- yeah, yeah, I’m good.” he grinned, and anyone that knew Elliott knew that that was the grin he gave you when something went wrong and he was trying to cover it up. 

“That scary, huh?” Tavi tried to joke, and Elliott bit his lip, laughing a little behind his perfect white teeth.

“No, just….” he then waved a hand and grinned at Octavio. “Just, uh- you might… wake up crying after touching the totem thingy.” he laughed awkwardly, and Octavio just smiled so he could get out of this as soon as possible. What the fuck happened in there? Thankfully, Elliott left, and he dashed inside, sliding down the hill. He couldn’t resist the urge to drop a jumppad, but he didn’t have one, unfortunately, so he just slid to a stop and looked around. Revenant was standing with his back to Octavio, arms crossed over his chest, one hand pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Hey there!” he chirped, and Revenant whipped around, looking at him. His eyes narrowed, but Octavio could tell there wasn’t much malice in them. 

“Mmh. You’re Octane?” he grunted, and Octavio grinned widely, setting his hands on his hips.

“That’s me! But you can call me Octavio, or Tavi- everyone does.” he purred, but Revenant rolled his eyes annoyedly. Octavio started to tap his foot against the floor, looking around the training grounds. Revenant cleared his throat to get his attention. 

“Let’s get started…” he murmured, and started to head towards the target dummies. Octavio eagerly followed after him. They went through each others’ passives and tacticals- and Octavio had to admit, the weird tingling feeling he got from his weird grenade thingy made him giggle like a little bitch, before of course, it started to hurt.

“So I heard your ultimate is pretty interesting.” he hummed, jabbing a syringe into his arm to heal up the bit of damage he’d gotten because of the tactical. If he was being honest, he was nervous for this- he didn’t know what would happen, and he definitely didn’t want to start fucking crying in front of this guy after he used the ult. He watched as Revenant charged up his ultimate and lightly shrugged.

“You could say that.” he said, and Octavio laughed.

“Uh- so what does it do?” he asked, to try and soothe some of his anxieties. 

“You’ll find out.” Revenant gruffed back, and finished charging up. He reached out in front of him, and up from the ground raised this weird diamond shaped thingy with smoke billowing around it. Oh, Octavio so wanted to touch that. Sure, it could make him bawl like an idiot, but it was so cool, and so fucking appealling looking. He eagerly reached out a hand, but Revenant grabbed it and held it tightly.

“You don’t… have to try it out.” he muttered, and there was a strange look in his eyes that Octavio couldn’t actually place. It looked… worried, almost, but there was no way a past-assassin and weird robot guy would be worried about him using his ult… right?

“Nah, it’s okay, amigo. I got it.” he smiled at Revenant, who sighed out sharply and rolled his eyes. He reached out and touched the totem, and that’s when he heard Revenant mumble, “It’s your funeral.”.

━━━━━━━━

Revenant was anticipating the worst. He was thinking about all of the problems that could arise when Octavio touched that damn totem. He imagined the shadow demon bursting into tears, or cowering from him. He tried to imagine what his trauma would be, but he was stumped. What anxieties would a man like that have, anyway? He seemed too carefree, too reckless and rash to have any significant insecurities or worries. He seemed perfectly fine with himself, it was obvious he wasn’t changing a thing about himself for anyone.

So of course, he never would’ve expecting the crackling, sparking shadow demon to look up at him, and immediately wrap his arms around his waist in a tight hug. He looked down at Octavio, furrowing his brow in confusion. He heard soft coos from him as he nuzzled his head into his torso, wrapping his arms even tighter around him. He felt lucky that he didn’t have a skeletal system, because surely, with how hard he was being hugged, his ribs would’ve been crushed by now. He was unsure of how to act, struggling to even process what was going on at the moment. Octavio made a new move, wrapping his metallic legs around Revenant’s waist with a gurgle of happiness. 

Slowly, Revenant reached down, gently pressing a hand against his head. And with hesitant action, he started to rub back and forth. Octavio brightened at this, looking up at him once more in a way that made Revenant uncomfortable. He couldn’t see into his eyes due to the goggles and the shadow, but he felt… admiration radiating from Octavio. It felt wrong to be looked at like that, with reverence and wonder. He was a sick and cruel murderer who had ruined the lives of hundreds people before, and he would definitely do it again. And here was Octavio, his arms wrapped around him, looking up at him like he was his lifesaver. He then heard something, a garbled noise from Octavio that made him do a double take.

“W hat was that?” he asked, quirking a brow at Octavio. He looked up at him, then warbled again.

“Papá.”

His eyes widened, and he put a hand on his head again to distract him from his shock. Octavio’s symphony of pleased cooing started up again, and Revenant tried to collect himself. So Octavio had issues with his father? Well, he knew about the Silva pharmaceuticals family, and if he had to guess, it would make sense that Octavio’s father was absent. This then led down a train of thought that got progressively more and more worrying as he thought it. Was Octavio beat as a child? How badly did his father neglect him? What type of abuse had he gone through, what trauma did he have?

He cleared his throat, then carefully pried Octavio’s arms from around him, carefully setting him down on the ground. Octavio looked up at him and made some type of hurt whimper that immediately made Revenant regret it. He didn't want to hurt Octavio, add to the trauma that he already have.

“Ah- God, no, no.” he muttered, putting a hand on Octavio’s shoulder, gently squeezing it. He had to do something to make him feel better, distract him somehow. But it seemed like Octavio was already doing that himself, taking Revenant’s hand and excitedly shrieking and running towards where the weapons were stacked up. He seemed so excited and nearly stumbled over his own two feet. It was almost adorable- until, well, he dove and snatched a frag from where it laid on the ground. Revenant was confused until Octavio eagerly tossed it at Revenant, causing him to dive to the side.

“What the hell are you thinking!?” he yelled, but apparently, Octavio didn’t seem to reciprocate his panic. He grabbed another one, and tossed it towards him with a happy little shriek. It clicked, suddenly- he was trying to play catch. Okay, he could play catch, that would work. Maybe if he caught it and threw it, he’d stop throwing fucking grenades at him.

So he caught the grenade, and flung it in the opposite direction with a soft sigh of relief. He watched it disappear over a small hill, and was about to relax until he saw Octavio jab a stim into his chest and run over that hill towards it.

“Wait-!” he shouted, but was interrupted by a loud explosion. His eyes widened, and his entire world felt like it broke. But  _ why?  _ He shouldn’t fucking care about this guy, it wasn’t like he was his kid or anything. He’d barely known him for a few fucking minutes, and he panicked when he fucking exploded. If this didn’t get through his goddamn metallic skull the first time, he was a FUCKING  _ ASSASSIN _ .

But all of his thoughts left his head when he heard the woosh of the Death Totem. He whipped his head around to see Octavio flat on his back, rubbing his head.

“Fuckin’  _ ow _ .” he groaned, and Revenant hurried over. He wasn’t even trying to seem uninterested at this point, kneeling down and putting a hand on the back of Octavio’s head gently.

“Are you alright?” he asked, and Octavio looked up at him bewilderedly, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Uh- yeah. My head hurts like a  _ bitch,  _ but I’m good. Why?” he asked, looking up at the Death Totem with curiosity. Revenant sighed in relief, then stood up and tried to gather his aloof persona from where it was laying in shards on the ground.

“You blew yourself up with a grenade.” he gruffed, and was surprised when Octavio laughed.

“Oh my fucking god.” he sat up, then leaned back on his palms, and Revenant could hear the grin on his face in his voice. “Of course I did. Did you see it?” he asked eagerly, and Revenant frowned.

“No.”

“Aww, shame. You should’ve recorded it.” he huffed, and then stood up, watching as the Death Totem disappeared into the ground. He put his hands on his hips and tapped his foot.

“I might use that for one of my next stunts, amigo. Mind if I borrowed it?” He asked eagerly, and once more, Revenant felt like he had to say something. Like he had to ease the deep anxieties that bothered him.

“...Sure. if you… need anything, you can just ask.” he muttered, and Octavio was clearly taken aback. Then, Revenant leaned in and just gave him a hug, putting a hand on the back of his head and gently tucking it into his chest. He was thankful he didn’t have a fucking heart right now, because if he did, it’d be hammering at 90 miles per fucking hour. What the hell was he  _ DOING?! _ He pulled away and glanced down at Octavio, who had his head tilted as he looked up at him like some sort of confused dog. Revenant then scowled.

“Go on, go.” he snapped, and Octavio gave some sort of laugh/scoff.

“Okie dokie.”

And Revenant was alone once more.


	3. exhaustion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ex·haus·tion  
> noun  
> 1.a state of extreme physical or mental fatigue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't really like how this chapter turned out ^^; i don't think it's horrible, but it definitely could be better. i just feel bad because i haven't updated in a WHILE sddsjlkfds  
> feel free to comment, i love reading em uwu

It was a well known fact that Makoa Gibraltar was friends with everyone. It was something he was proud of, a skill he worked hard to perfect. A little secret? No matter what they say, everyone wants to talk. The type of people that became legends, they all had something to say, no matter how offputting or threatening they appeared. Sometimes, they just needed someone to sit and listen to them, hear all of their inner thoughts and secrets. After all, every sane person needed a friend, needed at least  _ someone  _ to talk to. Even legends like Bloodhound or Caustic, who never revealed their faces, identities, or backstories to  _ anyone _ opened up to old Makoa. Another tip- never give up. It shouldn’t matter how many snarky remarks or hissed responses you got in return. If you want to befriend people like that, you needed to work hard. However, there was no harm in offering tokens of friendship. Smiles, warm meals, a shoulder to cry on.

But this new guy… when he first saw him, Makoa could tell that he’d be a hard nut to crack. Something about how he held himself in the introduction video, he just seemed so tense. As if he was preparing for an attack at any moment. But, there was definitely something behind those glowing orange eyes. Something that had been itching him since the day he was created, no doubt. Makoa wanted to get to the bottom of it, for sure. It was in his nature, really. As he headed to the firing range, he passed by Octavio and Ajay, who were engrossed in conversation. And typically, Makoa wasn’t one to snoop in on others’ conversations out of common courtesy, but when the topic revealed itself to be about Revenant, he really couldn’t help it.

“Did it hurt? The totem?”

“Nah, nah- I don’t even know what happened! It was like I blacked out!”

“Ya said he hugged ya?” 

“Yeah, it was fucking wild!!! I thought he was going in to stab me, or something.”

He tried not to let their words deter him, but he had to admit, it made him curious. What the hell was this guy all about? He had a shady past, that was for sure. No one became a simulacrum if they were just some average joe. His train of thought was brought to a halt as the doors to the firing range slid open with a heavy sigh. He walked in, heading down the large slope, keeping an eye out for this Revenant guy. His plan was to just be as calm and courteous as possible, in the hopes that they could start off on the right foot. However, he couldn’t quite imagine what this guy would be like if he  _ was  _ on the right foot. Ah, well. Maybe he’d be the first one to find out!

He made his way down the large slope after the huge doors slid open, spotting the simulacrum standing near the ultimate accelerants, tapping his foot against the metal ground with one in his hand. He kept looking from left to right, but Makoa could tell he wasn’t actually registering anything. He looked like he had something on his mind.

“Hey there, brudda!” he exclaimed, walking over to him with a wide grin on his face. Revenant flinched like he’d been hit, whipping his head around and scowling at him. Makoa put his hands up in joking surrender, chuckling quietly under his breath.

“My bad, didn’t mean to scare ya.” he apologized, and Revenant grumbled something under his breath, but looked down at him, setting his hands on his hips.

“You’re Gibraltar?” he hummed.

“That’s the name! Don’t wear it out.” he gave himself a pat on the stomach with a laugh. He could see Revenant’s expression twist in what appeared to be disgust. That didn’t throw Makoa off yet, however. “How’ve you been today?” he asked, trying to start a conversation.

“Not something you need to worry about. Just pay attention.” Revenant hissed at him, turning around. He went over his powers rather quickly, not describing them as well as Makoa would’ve liked. There seemed to be a sense of urgency about him while he did. Maybe he had other plans? Or just didn’t want to be there?

Whatever the case, Makoa wanted to help him out, so he didn’t mention his dislike of how he was handling things. He just listened intently, explaining his own passive and tactical as quickly as possible. He used his ultimate, but Revenant didn’t seem to care all too much, standing and looking far off while missiles rained down above him. Makoa put up his dome just to protect the simulacrum, but he didn’t even get as much as a thank you. Just a strange look. He cleared his throat gently as the smoke cleared, pursing his lips.

“Hey, man. You gonna show me your ultimate?” he asked, snapping his fingers in front of his eyes. Revenant blinked, as if waking from a type of dream, and then huffed.

“Fine.” he muttered. Makoa chuckled.

“What, ya hopin’ I’d forget about it?” he asked teasingly, and to his surprise, Revenant gave a short nod. To Makoa’s surprise, he reached out and put a stiff hand on his shoulder.

“Before you try it. Do you have… anything on your mind?” he choked out. Makoa knew the question was supposed to sound caring or gentle, but it felt like something forced out of the simulacrum’s mouth. Like he didn’t really want to ask it, or didn’t know how. Like he was speaking a different language. He furrowed his brow, then decided to give him a little bit of credit. Maybe he was trying to change things?

“Hey, don’t worry about me. I feel good!” he chimed, clapping Revenant on the back in a friendly gesture. It only seemed to make him tense up, however. He then slouched, running a hand over his face with a quiet groan. Makoa was about to ask if he was alright himself, but just as he opened his mouth, the ground opened up in front of him, and out came a strange device. It was shaped like a diamond, about as tall as his chest and glowing a menacing orange color.

“Woah. Ain’t that somethin’?” Makoa mumbled, looking up at Revenant with a bit of curiosity in his gaze. Revenant shifted, then straightened his posture and gave a weak gesture towards the totem.

“Try it out.” he ordered. Or at least, it was probably meant to be one. It really just sounded like a hesitant suggestion at best. Makoa laughed to himself as he thought. This guy really wasn’t all he was cracked up to be, eh? He reached out a gloved hand, gently setting it on the totem. Before everything went dark, however, he quickly registered two eyes burning holes into the back of his skull.

━━━━━━━━

Revenant’s head was spinning.

The last two meetings he had went mediocre at best, and god-awful at worst. Nothing was going as he expected, and he had no fucking idea why. Mirage and Octane, while they were morons, seemed fairly carefree and lighthearted. Yet, look how their demeanors changed when they entered the totem? Mirage burst into tears, and Octane blew himself up with a fucking grenade after calling him dad. They were supposed to be murderous freaks, not emotional disasters.

Now, from what he knew about Gibraltar, he was one of the most positive people in the games. He was always cheering on his teammates, yelling out encouragement or comforting those who’d lost. That’s why Revenant was so nervous. What types of issues could he be hiding behind those jolly smiles and raucous laughs? When he touched that totem, what demons would be released unto the world that he wanted to keep under wraps? Would he explode with rage? Or burst into tears? 

He watched him closely, registering a feeling he barely remembered as anxiety. It had been so long… feeling it now made him almost sick. This whole thing was bringing up emotions that he hadn’t felt in fucking years. He shook his head lightly, he couldn’t be  _ worried  _ about that right now. God, it felt wrong to say that.

Makoa was now completely engulfed in the wispy shadows Revenant had grown familiar with. The totem gained a small, orange orb, which floated absently. He turned towards Revenant, so the simulacrum braced himself for the worst.

And then he walked past him.

Revenant watched, confused out of his mind as Makoa sat down with a heavy sigh. He sat with his legs crossed, leaning up against a rock and letting his eyes close. 

Revenant shifted where he stood, feeling a little idiotic for panicking at the moment. This was… a different reaction. It wasn’t violent or full of energy like he’d grown used to. But something was obviously  _ wrong,  _ everything felt off with Makoa. He just couldn’t pinpoint what. He walked over, kneeling down beside him. He waved a hand in front of his closed eyes, furrowing his brow.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked sharply, and Makoa opened his eyes, glancing at Revenant. He let out another hefty sigh, slouching forward and lowering his head. Now Revenant felt like a fucking moron. He could barely wrap his head around the effects of the totem. Just when he thought he understood what was to happen next, he was hit in the back of the head with a curveball that left him confused out of his mind.

He put a hand on his forehead, and groaned to himself. He needed to get a fucking hold of himself. He was spiralling, and needed to catch himself before he crashed. He took another look at Makoa, and tried to rationalize things. He looked tired. Out of it.

Revenant felt awkward. The answer to this riddle wasn’t as obvious as the other two, and he didn’t want to make things worse for him by fucking up. He sat back on his heels momentarily, narrowing his eyes. He felt like a moron. He wasn’t used to not knowing what to do. Everything came to him like second nature when he was on the battlefield, because that was what he was created for. He was created to kill, to annihilate his target and anything or anyone that got in his way. He’d taken more lives than he could remember at this point. Fuck, that was the entire reason he’d joined these accursed games. Just to satisfy the itch crawling deep inside of his code, the urge to kill and maim whoever and whatever he could. He wasn’t built for emotion, he wasn’t built to comfort and understand what others were going through, to be  _ empathetic _ .

But here he was.

He sat down beside Makoa, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing deeply.

“I don’t… know what to do.” he muttered to him, looking back down at his lowered head. He seemed to be ignoring his very presence, and Revenant was about to get up, say ‘fuck it’ and just wait until the totem’s effect wore off. But Makoa lifted his head, and just… rested it on Revenant’s shoulder. He let out another sigh, and Revenant felt even more fucking lost than he was before. What the hell did  _ this  _ mean? Did he just need a fucking hug? He could do that much, at least. He sat up onto his knees, turning around to face Makoa. He leaned in and wrapped his arms around him, gently rubbing his back. He didn’t know what to expect, really, so he assumed it was helping when Makoa leaned into it. He didn’t hug him back or anything, but that didn’t matter as much. 

“You look… tired.” he whispered to him, and Makoa let out a soft noise as a response to show he was listening. He needed to say something else, he couldn’t leave it at that. “You… you’re there for everyone else. Right?” he muttered gently. He knew that much about the man, how he was known as the father figure in the group. “It’s hard. Isn’t it?” there was a soft nod from Makoa. “You don’t have to do this all the time. You can have time to yourself.” he didn’t know where this was coming from, yet again. What felt like seconds ago, he didn’t even know what was wrong, stumbling through his own emotions like some newborn deer. Now he was belting advice like someone’s shrink? He looked over his shoulder for a moment, at the totem. He narrowed his eyes at it. Did that thing have something to do with it? Was he linked to them in some way?

He looked at Makoa, then leaned forward, resting his chin on his head, rubbing his back in slow circles. The key seemed to be not to think about what to say. It’d just… flow, or something. “No one’s ever there for you. Right?” he whispered, and felt Makoa nod against him. “You know, you can ask for help. It isn’t wrong.” he muttered. Makoa pulled away from him, looking up at Revenant. “Are… you going to say something?” he asked, yet, all of a sudden, he vanished before his very eyes.

“Oh, man…” he heard Makoa grunt, and whipped his head around to look at him. He seemed alright, laying flat on his back with a hand on his forehead. Revenant hurried over faster than he’d like to admit, kneeling down on the ground beside him.

“How do you feel?” he almost choked out, having to hold himself back from trying to help Makoa into a sitting position. He was reaching his lowest right now, and that would be the nail in the fucking coffin. So he just watched as Makoa sat up slowly, laughing gently under his breath.

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, brotha. I feel alright!” he mused, and Revenant felt his eye twitch. For some reason, that response ticked him off beyond all belief. How dare he  _ lie  _ to his face like that? Did he look like a moron?

“Don’t lie to me. How do you feel?” he spat, and Makoa seemed to flinch, quirking a brow and looking at him strangely. He shrugged limply, and rested back on his hands.

“I mean… My head hurts? But I’m okay, no need to stress. Appreciate the concern, though.” he said, and pushed himself off of the ground. He held out a hand for Revenant to take, but it was ignored. Revenant stood on his own as Makoa tried for a grin. 

“Well... that was nice. I look forward to fightin’ with ya in the ring, my brotha.” he hummed, holding out a hand for Revenant to shake. At least, that was probably his intention. He took his hand, then yanked the larger man forward into a tight hug. This surprised Makoa, no doubt he was confused. But regardless, he hugged back.

“Put your needs in front of others for a change.” he muttered into Makoa’s shoulder, hopefully so he wouldn’t understand him.

“What?” Makoa asked, pulling away with a confused look. Revenant stiffened up, looking away from his prying gaze.

“Nothing. You can go.” he waved a hand. Makoa headed up the hill, and when he heard the large doors close, Revenant almost gasped in relief. What the fuck was he doing? Why was he so… emotional over this shit?

_ WHAT THE FUCK WAS HAPPENING TO HIM? _


End file.
